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REALITY DATING SHOWS WIN AT RATINGS, LOSE AT LOVE -- Mate Selection

5/31/2004

Expert Steven Sacks answers question whether made-on-TV relationships can last after the first two seasons of 'The Bachelor' failed to produce even one successful relationship, the romances of 'Joe Millionaire' and 'The Bachelorette' are also doomed to fail says dating and relationship expert Steven Sacks (AKA Mr. Mate Map). However, such made-on-TV relationships can actually work.

After the first two seasons of 'The Bachelor' failed to produce even one successful relationship, the world waits to see if 'Joe Millionaire' and 'The Bachelorette' can reach 'happily ever after' with their chosen mates. So do Evan and Zora have what it takes to go the distance? Are Trista and Ryan compatible enough to endure the test of time? "No," says dating and relationship expert Steven Sacks on both accounts.

"While Zora was the least money hungry of the women Evan had to choose from, and the two of them get along well, they simply don't have enough chemistry to make it as a couple," explains Sacks, author of "The Mate Map: The Right Tool for Choosing the Right Mate" (matemap.com). "They have the basic chemistry that any two friends would have, but they're blatantly missing that intense desire to be together that all couples should have."

Many people have expressed weariness about the relationship potential of Evan and Zora, but few have predicted the eventual break-up of Trista and Ryan because their relationship seems to be working. But Sacks believes that this relationship is also doomed to fail.

"Although Trista and Ryan are a good match in several ways--they're both especially sincere, romantic, and attractive--they have a few major areas of incompatibility that will eventually cause them to go their separate ways," says Sacks. "For starters, Ryan is not nearly as outgoing and fun as Trista, which will cause problems over time. Also, the relationship is out of balance, as Ryan's feelings towards Trista are more like awe than mutual respect."

So can a relationship created on a reality dating show actually be successful over the long term? "Absolutely," says Sacks. "Many people write off these made-on-TV relationships as a joke, but they can actually work. The key for these couples is to properly assess their compatibility in all facets of the relationship, such as physical attraction, chemistry, love, and personality aspects such as affection, optimism, nonverbal communication, intelligence, and sincerity. So far, neither Evan, Trista, nor their predecessors, Alex and Aaron, have been as thorough as they need to be in examining each of these critical areas."

With all of the failed and doomed-to-fail relationships created on reality dating shows, one has to wonder whether or not people will stop watching these highly popular programs as the networks fail to deliver on their unspoken promise of making relationships that last. Sacks says that people will continue to be glued to their television sets as long as quality reality dating shows are on the air.

"The entertainment value of these shows is so high, that whether or not the relationship ends up working is of little consequence to most people," explains Sacks. "However, there are some people who are disappointed that the people they've come to know over a seven-week period haven't found their special someone. The interest level of these people could fade if a happy couple doesn't develop sooner or later."

Steven Sacks is the creator of the Mate Map--a new technique that helps single men and women select the right mate for them. He's also a relationship coach and speaker, as well as an avid viewer of reality dating shows. Mr. Sacks splits his time between his hometown of New York City and Durham, North Carolina, with his girlfriend--the first Mate Map success story.

Steven Sacks and his Mate Map technique have already been featured in such publications as the Chicago Tribune, New York Post, and The Independent (UK). Mr. Sacks is also a new guest expert for Seventeen magazine.

"The Mate Map is the most effective tool for determining compatibility and measuring what's important in a relationship that I've ever seen."
- Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, best-selling author of Make Up, Don't Break Up

CONSIDER MR. MATE MAP AS A NEW SOURCE

Steven Sacks is always available to provide outspoken quotes on every current or future reality dating show, including “Married by America” which premieres on Monday, March 3. He can also offer advice on any aspect of dating and relationships, including online dating and speed dating events.