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| Author Provides Roadmap for Newlyweds |
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5/18/2004 Author Jennifer Jeanne Patterson provides three tips on how to build a strong foundation during your first year of marriage.
Minneapolis, MN - Cold feet don't magically thaw after you walk down the aisle. Just ask Minnesota author, Jennifer Jeanne Patterson.
She returned home from a blissful honeymoon to find that she and her new husband, Mathias W. Samuel, couldn't agree on anything. They argued over the temperature of the thermostat, who should control the remote control, and what speed was appropriate for highway driving. His previously charming habits, like his need to set everything perfectly straight, annoyed her now. And, they struggled with common newlywed issues such as the lack of romance, personal space encroachment, and setting boundaries with their in-laws. She found herself wondering, “Does any bride truly know how much her husband's character will affect her?” Or was their marriage a huge mistake?
“After a few unhappy months, we realized that we could let our differences bring us closer together, or tear us apart,” she said.
She began writing a nationally syndicated column called, Newlyweds, to provide solace for other brides who occasionally experienced frustration, loneliness and isolation in their own relationships. She acknowledges that she and her husband, Matt, are not the most well-known Newlyweds. “Nick and Jessica are great entertainment, but we are reality,” she says.
Here are her hard-earned lessons from her first year of marriage:
1.Forget ‘And Two Become One.' Think ‘And Two Become a Team.' You have enough room in your marriage for both of your individual personalities.
2.Your first year of marriage is a formative year. You won't remember half of what you argued over – but you will always remember how your partner made you feel. Work hard to set behaviors that protect your marriage, not tear you apart.
3.At times, you may feel frustrated, lonely or isolated in your marriage. Hang in there! Just as with a new job, you'll face a learning curve as you adjust to your new role as husband or wife.
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